Whoever Said Love Was Beautiful?
by Amber Honley
Summary: Marauders one-shot. Sirius/Lily and James/Lily and one-sided Severus/Lily . Rated for caution. Please review.


'Lily! Lily!' Sirius shouted as the pretty redhead ran from the room. James was upstairs, thank Merlin, or Sirius would be dead already. Sighing, he stood up and started to run after her. She was going outside to walk round the lake. Of course she was: it was where she always went after they'd had an argument. They'd been having a lot of arguments over the past week. Sirius couldn't understand it. One day they were fine and the next she was exploding in his face for anything and everything. Then she would run of crying.

_Bloody females,_ he grumbled to himself. _Always so emotional._ Although this time Sirius hadn't been entirely blameless. In fact, this was possibly the only time when Sirius could honestly say he might have deserved it. Scrap that. He had deserved it. How was he to know that Lily would hear him and Emmeline inside the broom cupboard? He wouldn't have done it had he thought she'd find out. _Well of course you wouldn't, you fool. Not after what just happened._ They'd been happily making out when Lily had passed by. Precisely _how_ she'd managed to hear them Sirius still wasn't quite sure. Maybe he'd find out when they made up.

He heard footsteps close by. Filch, the caretaker's apprentice. It had to be. Only the nutter himself and his equally mad cat were likely to be about in the middle of the night. _Shit,_ thought Sirius to himself. _He's going to turn the corner and see me and then I won't be able to go after Lily and... You idiot, Padfoot! He can hardly give a dog detention, can he? Actually, knowing him, he might well try... Ah, well, never mind... Maybe you could even play with that cat...what's her name again...Mrs Norris, that was it. Honestly, how stupid could you get? Calling a _cat_ Mrs Norris!_

Sirius transformed into his Animagus form: that of a large, bear-like dog. What fun "playing" with Mrs Norris was going to be. He was looking forward to this immensely.

* * * * *

Lily Evans was crying. Again. Were all relationships like this, or just hers? Or just Sirius'?

'Lily?' The voice was deep and mature, lighter than Sirius', too clear to be Remus', Peter...well, no, it would never be Peter. That only left...

'J-James?' Lily looked up. James Potter had changed recently. About a week ago she had noticed it. He was more caring, more mature, even (slightly) more responsible, though he still loved pulling pranks. It was since James had changed that her (secret) relationship with Sirius had changed too. Whereas before she had seen an intelligent, loving boy-man, she now saw a faintly arrogant womaniser. She hadn't told him yet. How could she? How could she see pain in those wonderful grey eyes and know that she had caused it? How could she take all the boy knew of what it was like to be loved away from him? He would never get love from either of his parents, and the type of love he received from Mr and Mrs Potter couldn't be enough. She didn't want Sirius any more, but she couldn't bring herself to cause him pain.

Suddenly, without any warning, tears started to slide from her eyes. She cried, not realising that she was letting James Potter hold her, not realising that he was her anchor. After what seemed like an age to the boy watching them silently from behind, but only a second to James, Lily pulled back. Her brilliant emerald eyes sparkled with tears.

'Lily? Lily, what's wrong? What happened?' asked James gently. Lily shook her head.

'You'd be so angry, James. So angry... Even he doesn't deserve that, even now...'

'He? Who's "he", Lily? Is it Snivellus? I'll murder the bastard! I'll...'

'No, not Severus, James. Someone else. I can't say, you'd be so angry...furious. I can't do that to him, even after what he did – '

'What did he do, Lily? Did he hurt you? I'll hex the entire male population of Hogwarts if you don't want to tell me who it was if whoever it was hurt you. I wouldn't mind, Lily. I love you, Lily. No, don't tell me I don't, just hear me out first. In first year you were prettier than everyone else, still are for that matter, and I found you attractive. In second year you were still pretty and you were kind as well. I developed a crush on you. In third year I was infatuated. In fourth it was wearing off. In fifth year you found out about Remus, became a prefect, got better grades than any of us, studied harder than any of us and still had spare time. I admired you. In sixth year, as you probably remember, I was a mess. All I realised was that you had grown up. You weren't a little girl looking down her nose at me any more, and I couldn't win, so I stopped chasing you. You started to hang around with us, though I doubt very much that you would have had you not been friends with our furry friend for a while. This year you've had Head Girl duties, more classes, and subsequently more homework, than any of us, more trouble than usual with your family, and now it comes out that you've been having trouble with your social life as well, but still you remained externally calm, kind, caring and sensitive. And partly because of that, because you can have such a hectic life but still be such a good person, partly because of that, I fell in love with you. And now I'm standing here, rambling on, hoping that some part of what I've been saying has hit home because – ' He was cut off mid-sentence by Lily's finger on his lips.

'And James, I'm a blind fool. It took you telling me all this to work out what I wanted all along.' She smiled, and James raised his eyebrows. She leaned closer to him and whispered against his mouth, 'I want you, and I think I love you, James Potter.' That said, she moved closer and kissed him.

The boy watching them wanted to scream. His Lily! His Lily going to Potter. There was now no possible way back for Severus Snape. He had loved Lily Evans, and she had chosen another man. Moreover, she had chosen the person who had mocked and taunted him for seven years. And he couldn't take it any longer. He ran. As silent as he could be, he didn't want to give Potter and excuse to hex him, he turned and ran.

On his way back to the castle he bumped into a dog. A large, black dog, to be precise. Snape couldn't know, neither would he have cared if he had known, that the dog was Sirius Black. He was too consumed in his own misery. Whoever it was who said that love was beautiful had obviously never been in love. Love was bad. Love was painful. Love would never be beautiful for Severus Snape again.

Sirius was running down to the lake, still in his dog form. His "playtime" with Mrs Norris had been quite fun, and he was just remembering how she had jumped about a foot into the air when he had managed to creep up behind her unawares. That had been fun. Who would have expected that a cat that (seemingly) old would be able to jump that high? Not Sirius, for one. Something human-shaped was running up towards the castle. Snivellus. He crashed into Sirius, but didn't seem to care. But never mind. Snivellus wasn't important now. Snivellus was rarely important anyway, so why should he be now, when Sirius' girlfriend was crying by the lake.

But when he neared the lake, Sirius noticed a distinct absence of sobs. He could smell Lily, so she must be here, but he could also smell something else...James? What in the name of Merlin was _James_ doing out here? More to the point, how were Lily and James alone, together, and not shouting? As he moved closer, however, he saw something that made his heart stop. Lily and James. Lily was sitting on James's lap and they were kissing. That shouldn't be happening. Lily hated James...he thought. But what if she didn't? If she hadn't been so adamant in her pronouncement that she would sooner go out with the Giant Squid than James Potter, would they have got together sooner? Would Lily have been with Sirius at all?

Whoever said love was beautiful? Because whoever it was was very, very wrong.


End file.
